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Joke of the Day
"There are two types of men in the world... Men that pee in the sink Men that lie"
Next Joke
"Nobody who does marijuana says they ""do marijuana."""
"Best Fortune cookie ever: ""Person expecting sound advice from stale cookie probably make good dishwasher. Ask manager for application."""
"If I went back in time I'd tell myself... ""Don't wait until 29 to become a stripper. You get to be naked, drunk and get paid for it!"""
"As an organ donor I wonder if there's some box I can check that might prevent my organs from keeping Dick Cheney alive?"
"I accidentally pooped my pants during a 5 hour long company meeting today. It was super embarassing, but a man's gotta doo when a man's gotta doo."
"I'm sorry I poked your baby with your selfie stick but I didn't really know what to do with either of them."
"Taking my dog out in below zero weather brings one thought to mind. I should have gotten a cat."
"A journalist is interviewing a five hundred pound man with paper thin skin who is getting a full body skin transplant. The reporter asks if he is excited. He says, ""I can barely contain myself!"""
"Politics is just show business for ugly people."