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Joke of the Day

"The FBI, CIA, LAPD, and some Rabbits"

"Have you ever had sex while camping? Is fucking intense..."

"If this guy calls me ""sweetie"" one more time I SWEAR I'll continue to pleasantly smile and nod."

"It's amazing how alcohol can make you do so many stupid things on your smart phone."

"Where does sans live? Sans francisco"

"So what's the deal with Jesus? I mean he's just been hangin' around for the last 2000 years."

"when I was a little kid, my mom told me I could do anything when I grew up. that's why I'm suing her"

"It's hard to think about mama johns staying home with all the children johns while papa johns are away at pizza wars."

"It's impossible not to look creepy whispering to a child"

"trolls have found a terrible new way to antagonize me. it is called ""retweeting"" and it works by exposing my posts to scammers & crumb bums."