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Joke of the Day

"My son is in hospital because of one little driving mistake. He beat me at Mario Kart."

"The number of things I feel compelled to sniff before I buy, is slightly embarrassing."

"I just join reddit and suddenly discover that my name is is on the front page! ^so ^upvotes. much karma. ^^^wow."

"What is the last thing on a Mosquito's mind when it hits a car windshield? It's Asshole."

"People say ambidextrous people contradict themselves. On the other hand, I disagree."

"[emptying spam] ME: Why do I have so much canned meat?"

"please say a prayer for my coworker. his life is so boring that he just Instagrammed his Jimmy Johns sandwich"

"I would post a joke about cosmetics But I can't seem to make up one"

"My bathroom smells like somebody just took a shit when I walked out of it."

"I didn't sign up for the 401k at work, because there's no way I can run that far."