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Joke of the Day

"Why don't blind people bungee jump? It scares the fuck out of the dogs."

"*romantically climbs into your balcony to ask for your wifi password*"

"""Premature ejaculation man I NEED HELP!!"" I'M COMING!"

"I wish my grass was more emo. Then it would cut itself."

"me: one time i almost got trampled to death in a mosh pit kid: did you die? me: hmm"

"What did the two vegan strangers say to each other? Nothing. They didn't meat."

"Why is Riot Fest going to be in Toronto? They play music, not hockey."

"If I was in charge of SWAT I'd change the name to the ""Special Weapons And Grenades"" team just so police would have to radio in for SWAG"

"I wonder if black ants and red ants have beef. I never see them chilling together. Ever."

"What did the feminist Jedi say to Darth Tyrannus? ""Check your Force privileges, Sith Lord!"""