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Joke of the Day

"[dies and goes to hell] me: ""mom? dad!? what are you doing here!"" dad: ""we used to switch your food with the dog's food sometimes."""

Next Joke
 
"I got busted visiting Texas. For trying to smuggle in books. Luckily, I got off on a technicality. No one could prove they were books."
"Dating tip: Men find mysterious woman alluring, so keep the spark alive by occasionally acting like a lunatic possessed by the devil."
"Coworker: Happy Thanksgiving Eve! Gobble til you wobble! Me: *mutters* How bout you slobble on my knobble CW: What was that? Me: You too"
"One time I accidentally listened to a John Mayer song & spontaneously generated 2 thumb rings before it was over."
"An Irishman Walks Out Of A Bar"
"Did you know that trampolines were originally called jumpolines? Until your mom got on one."
"You show me a piano falling down,a mine shaft, and I'll show you A flat miner."
"Two wrongs don't make a right..... But two Wrights make a plane"
"[NSFW] Dad, I am a lesbian 1st Daughter:""Dad, I am a lesbian"" Dad; ""Oh okay!"" 2nd Daughter: ""I'm a lesbian too..."" Dad: ""Jesus Christ, does any one in this family love dicks?"" Son: ""I do."""