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Joke of the Day

"Spent morning at the farmers market carefully selecting fruits and vegetables to throw away next Saturday."

"Why are Jedi terrible at Rugby? Because ""There is no Try."""

"I am willing to promise my kids anything just so they go away for a while. I learned that trick from the government"

"If Apple designed a house, what would they not install? Windows..."

"My local's rough as anything. I went to the pub quiz the other night-First question was What the f*ck are you looking at?"

"When I wrote ""Spiritual"" on my online-dating profile, I meant I like to watch 'Ghostbusters'."

"If you don't consider yourself a terrible person, you're likely a horrific person."

"I remember my first time at a mic. ""Cleanup on aisle 5"" & ""Price check-Advil"" were two early bits that really seemed to resonate with folks."

"What did the little ghost give his mom for Mother's Day? A booquet of flowers."

"A bot walks into a sub and orders a rum and coke... [Removed]"