15003

Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a piano, a tuna, and a bottle of glue? Anyone can tuna piano, but nobody can piano a tuna!"

"A patient kept complaining about his life-support machine making a weird noise So I tried turning it off and back on again."

"A horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave because they are now aware of the added danger that has been added to the environment."

"'I hope you're not one of those boys who sits and watches the school clock' said the principal to a new boy. 'No Sir. I've got a digital watch that bleeps at three-fifteen.'"

"Hey girl... You must be pretty massive because I'm (gravitationally) attracted to you."

"There are so many songs that tell us how to breathe. It's like musicians and songwriters have never heard of the autonomic nervous system."

"[torturing terrorist] [plays EDM] [beat rises] [beat keeps rising] [beat rises endlessly] Terrorist: MAKE IT DROP I'LL TELL U ANYTHING"

"I like my women like I like my coffee with my dick in them."

"Why was the Planters employee fired? He was fucking nuts."

"What do a tornado and a divorce in the South have in common? Someone is losing their trailer.."