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Joke of the Day

"'I hope you're not one of those boys who sits and watches the school clock' said the principal to a new boy. 'No Sir. I've got a digital watch that bleeps at three-fifteen.'"

"I just ran over a dog. At first I felt bad, but then I realized it was my Ex..."

"Why you cannot think of landing a job or business without internet? No connection"

"Did you blow bubbles when you were a kid? Because he's back in town looking for you."

"Birthdays are great... ... but too many of them will kill you."

"Chuck Norris can't fly... But he does it anyway."

"How'd you sleep last night? Like God during the holocaust."

"Wife:How'd you sleep? Me: Fine except I got in a gun fight and died and went to the store because I ran out of shampoo W: Ambien:*giggles"

"If an object falls at 500ft/s how far must Mohammed run to escape the blast?"

"I asked the Riddler if I could be the host of his next party. He said, ""Be my guest."""