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Joke of the Day

"What did the DNA say to the RNA? Uracil-y structure!"

"""They're meh."" --Tony the Tiger, off his Paxil for a few days"

"Magic is like breast implants... ...we all know its fake, but when done well, can give you a feeling of true wonder"

"peanut Little Sally: Mommy, Mommy, Little Frankie showed me his penis on the playground! It reminded me of a peanut! Mommy (startled): Oh! Was it really small? Little Sally: No, it was salty!"

"How many feninists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Because feminists can't change anything."

"What song do burgers sing on the job? Gristle While You Work!"

"Hey, are you Jewish? Cause you Israeli hot. My go-to joke at parties."

"The camera adds 10 pounds but a barbershop smock and fluorescent light is more like 25."

"I don't mind being back on my meds... I just think it's sad that at the same time all the dogs in the neighbourhood stopped talking to me."

"In case of a zombie apocalypse, I'm surrounding my house with treadmills."