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Joke of the Day

"My wife recently started snoring, so I decided to use earplugs. but I can only get one in before she wakes up, turns out she doesn't like it when I shove earplugs in her nose."

"Sorry I conned your kid out of their Chuck E Cheese tickets. Maybe try not raising a sucker. Now excuse me, I have a sweet toy to play with."

"The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly."

"Why can't the blonde get her drivers license? Everytime the car stops, she wants to jump in the backseat."

"I bet every time Vanilla sets his razor down on the bathroom sink, he looks up in the mirror, rubs his newly smooth face & says ""Shaved Ice"""

"I like my coffee like I like my women Ground up and in the fridge."

"I feel that it's time to pick the kids up from school..so I'm going to lie down here for a while and wait for that feeling to pass"

"What is the difference between you and school tomorrow? I'm not going to come into school tomorrow."

"Ate way too much..I'm gonna go to Africa and throw up everything I just ate for all the starving children..yes I do have a generous side."

"I like my hookers like I like my treasure... Buried."