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Joke of the Day

"Oh, non-habit forming? No thanks."

"*pulls up pants* Oh, you said ANNUAL review. Well, this is embarrassing. But just for reference, how'd I do?"

"When is a door not a door? When it's ajar!"

"After last nights performance you've really got to feel sorry for goalkeeper Julio Cesar... The last time i saw a brazilian facing that many shots he was jumping a ticket barrier at stockwell."

"Waiter there is a cockroach on my steak ! They don't seem to care what they eat do they sir !"

"Michael Bay has just recently announced the title of his next gritty reboot of a kids TV show: Ed, Edd, and Edgy"

"I got my wisdom teeth out solely to make a cute viral video of what I said coming out of anaesthesia, but I used the N-word too many times."

"What do you call making your booty clap for likes and upvotes? Social netwerking"

"Q: How does a pair of pants feel when it is ironed? A: Depressed."

"If schools were really serious about fundraisers, they'd sell drugs and alcohol."