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Joke of the Day

"Whenever someone makes a premature blanket conclusion based on a single piece of information... I automatically assume they're a complete idiot."

"my daughter is 3. her joke about spiders: Spiders make Websites. she's not wrong."

"Did you hear about the fish addicted to worms? He got hooked."

"*accidentally walks into women's restroom* *plays it cool* *sits down* *finds comfort here* *changes name to Janice* *is alive* *is free*"

"Pavlov is sitting at a pub enjoying a pint; the phone rings,and he jumps up shouting: ""Oh Shit, I forgot to feed the dog!"""

"How long does an owl live? Six and a half books."

"[All credit to Ana Kasparian from the TYT Network] So, I heard Kim Kardashian is having Kanye West's baby... At least she let him finish."

"Drank enough whiskey to talk the husband into a Titanic reenactment. He's laying in the snow and I won't share the picnic table with him."

"Knock knock anti-joke Knock knock Who's there? Not Adolf Hitler . . ."

"Why can't Bane play baseball? He always breaks the bat."