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Joke of the Day

"How many cops shootings does it take to have an indictment? Error [value unknown]"

"I'm really bad at measuring the correct amount of pasta when cooking, so if you and 79 of your friends want spaghetti tonight""I got extra."

"What do ISIS and Little Miss Muffett have in common? They both have curds in their whey!"

"I used to hate my tumor But it grew on me."

"Two men. Two homosexual men are having sex and die instantaneously. Which one goes to heaven first? The one on the bottom because his shits already packed."

"A guy with a ponytail wearing mirrored sunglasses and camouflage pants just checked me out and winked at me. Still got it."

"What did the druggie scientist say when he got high on Helium? He He"

"Trump Brand Condoms! Guaranteed to be 100% effective. The wrapper is empty but once you or your partner see his face on it you would no longer want to have sex."

"What's going on in Paris is outrageous. You think the french would have surrendered by now."

"What did Virginia get when she walked into the pet shop? (state joke) A New Hampshire"