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Joke of the Day

"Someone needs to introduce the people still requesting songs on the radio to the Internet..."

"What is the difference between a girl in church and a girl in a bathtub? The girl in church has hope in her soul"

"What's dirtier then fingering your sister? Finding your dad's wedding ring."

"pH number. So a random person I don't know sends me a message on Facebook which goes like, ""cn i hve ur pH no? :)"" To which I reply, ""7."""

"Magical tractor I was watching a magical tractor driving down the road, when all of a sudden out of nowhere it turned into a field!"

"Mickey Rourke needs to get beaten up at the beginning of every movie he's in so it explains his face."

"When people post statuses like ""Don't text or call me! Bad mood!"" Um, no one was ever going text/call you in the first place. Just saying'"

"I've decided to start listing the sources of my eggs. It's very eggs-citing."

"Bears can swim, climb trees, and open doors. Why aren't there ""BEWARE OF BEARS"" signs posted fucking everywhere?!"

"Ants can lift 20 times their bodyweight which is really helpful if you ever need help moving a single blade of grass."