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Joke of the Day

"I get my eyes from my Dad & the ability to find something wrong with almost anything from my Mom"

"If a restaurant can afford to advertise on national television, you should never eat there"

"Do I have a plan for the zombie apocalypse? I don't even have a battery in my smoke detector, and fire is real."

"What did the homeless man say to Barack Obama? ""Can I have some 'change'?"""

"Long ago I got my first job as a circumciser. The pay was not much but I collected a lot of tips."

"Why do mice have small balls? Not many of them know how to dance."

"What do you call a black man flying a plane? The pilot."

"Can I get an amen? Saw this today"

"What do you call two homeless men hitting each other with cardboard? Pillow fight"

"Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs? He doesn't want anybody to know he fuc%ing the chicken"