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Joke of the Day
"Hey, who did you vote for?... I wrote in Michael J. Fox. I think he can really shake things up!"
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"What do you call a Rhinoceros in heat? Horny."
"If Google ever goes down and stays down, I'm fucked. I know four facts and they're all about elephants and I already forgot three of them."
"*eats pizza out of box in bed *falls asleep *wakes up next to leftover pizza Voila! Breakfast in bed!"
"If you want to hide a gift for your husband, just put it in the pantry with one thing in front of it."
"I make out with guys that wear Abercrombie & Fitch cologne because it rubs off on me & I love how it smells, but shopping there is SOOO gay."
"What other body parts did Voldemort not have apart from his nose? His legs and arms.. because he was disarmed and defeated."
"The fifth season will start in a few days Nuclear Winter"
"What do you call a psychoanalysis game show? Family Freud"
"Steven Tyler jokes Just a normal guy looking for some Steven Tyler jokes."