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Joke of the Day

"""It is scary how much false attribution of quotes occurs on Twitter."" - Mark Twain"

"Some members of Alphaville wanted to undergo Freud based therapy. They talked it out and decided it would be better to stay forever Jung."

"Stevie Wonder was once asked if there could be anything worse then being blind. To which he replied ""Well... I could have been black""."

"What do you call a tenor with erectile problems? Flacido Domingo."

"A scoliosis patient had given up hope of recovery.. But after the long and painful surgery, he took his first steps and humbly said ""I stand corrected""."

"Q: Why do owners of muffler shops sleep so good at night? A: They're exhausted."

"I don't trust trees... They're a little shady... And they killed my dog."

"A pine tree planted in 2004 in memory of former Beatle George Harrison in a Los Angeles park has died after being infested by beetles."

"[undercover FBI agent who's had me under surveillance for weeks decides to blow his cover] do you ever stop eating?"

"Whats the difference between your girlfriend and a walrus? One has a moustache and smells of fish and the other is a walrus."