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Joke of the Day

"I think I will have to go to the doctor soon. My father is a hypochondriac and I think it's hereditary. I'm starting to see the symptoms."

"If Jesus could see the way some Christians act today He'd be rolling in his grave"

"How many bricks do you need to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, but you're going to need a lot of patience and light bulbs."

"Two people have been killed and another seriously injured in a knife attack at an Ikea store in Sweden. Police are currently at the crime scene trying to piece the evidence together."

"I'm looking for something with the health benefits of yoga but absolutely none of the yoga"

"Sometimes I like to stick a band aid on the middle of my forehead and when somebody asks what happened I tell them I got shot."

"So I have a black girlfriend now ...after I severely burned my hand on the stove"

"If you send her a message and she doesn't reply in six months she is probably thinking about it"

"What does a Muslim pirate say? Allahu Ackbarrrrr!"

"What do you call it when someone has sex with Dwayne Johnson? Rock Climbing. heh."