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Joke of the Day

"I am literally the only one at this baby shower who turned up with champagne & a coat hanger."

"KILLER: I'M GONNA CATCH YOU ME: YOU'LL NEVER CA- [stops running to pet a dog]"

"How do you comfort a grammar Nazi? ""...They're, their, there."""

"As a customs officer, I don't always agree with people... ...but I see where they come from."

"I was going to go check out r/TwoX..... but it's just a bunch of pussies there"

"Why was Santa upset when he got a sweater for Christmas? Because he was hoping for a screamer or a moaner."

"Can't wait for Daylight Saving Time to end this weekend so the clock in my car will have the correct time."

"I work in construction... We don't have side pieces, we have back hoes"

"Why does ISIS like sheep? Is-Lamb!"

"Why do prison guards use Proactive? To prevent further breakouts."