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Joke of the Day

"I am literally the only one at this baby shower who turned up with champagne & a coat hanger."

"What did one businessmen voyeur say to the other? I'll have my peephole call your peephole."

"What's the difference between Adolf Hitler and Neville Chamberlain? Neville Chamberlain takes a weekend in the country. Adolf Hitler takes a country in the weekend. (First told circa 1938)"

"Doctor Doctor! I'm turning invisible! Yes.. I can see your not all there.."

"The news said a condom truck overturned, spilled its huge load and made a big mess. I don't know if it got cleaned up because I fell asleep."

"I'm worried about my relationship with my anorexic girlfriend... ...I'm seeing less and less of her each day."

"What would BuckWheat from Little Rascals be called if he were a Muslim? Kareem of Wheat."

"Why can't you trust any Adam? They make up everything."

"If you don't have your Florida ID with you on voting day, you can always show them a photo of yourself wearing a tank top to a funeral."

"My attempt at a joke? My mum is going through Labour and my dad says: ""Could Ukip already?"""