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Joke of the Day

"How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't. There is a clock on the oven."

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, lying in a ditch? Phil"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To see why /r/jokes is screwing in lightbulbs"

"My wife has a tatoo of a shell on the inside of her thigh If you put your ear against it you can smell the sea"

"What did Hitler get for Christmas? An easy-bake oven."

"Why did the Ape jump off the building? He wanted to show the world the stuff he was made of!"

"For the record ladies, your insecurities about your bodies is a bigger turn off to guys than your bodies ever could be."

"riding that line between i wish i didn't have to eat to live and food is the only thing that comforts me"

"What's the difference between a kidney bean and a chickpea? I wouldn't pay $100 to have a kidney bean on my face."