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Joke of the Day

"A blind judge conducted a trial.. And even after no one managed to provide a substantial incriminating evidence he still condemned the defendant. he couldn't see the truth."

"Every time I survive a sneeze while driving on the freeway it feels like I jumped out of a plane w/out a chute and lived."

"What do you call it when a lizard has problems in the bedroom? A reptile dysfunction"

"I always have to throw out my animal crackers. They always have that label: ""Do not eat if seal is broken""."

"I was in a bank yesterday and all the money just floated out the door by itself. It was a polterheist."

"I had a beautiful pearl of wisdom to tweet but I dropped it on the ground and one of my dogs ate it. I should have it back in 12 hours or so"

"At best, I think I could be a Third Responder."

"You haven't truly won an argument until the other person says ""whatever."""

"I just saved a bunch of money by shopping online with other people's credit card numbers."

"masquerade I went to a masquerade wearing nothing but roller-skates. I went as a pull toy."