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Joke of the Day

"An Irish Joke, that I did not initially get. I am Irish as well... How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None"

"You're not cool if you have to tell people you're cool. I'm looking at you, Cool Whip."

"Where do puppies go when they die? Back into the microwave so I can get in another round."

"I like what you did with your hair How'd you get it to stick out of your nose like that?"

"My life story is just like ""Eat Pray Love"" but without the last two."

"If you can fold a fitted sheet I'm 99% sure you graduated from Hogwarts."

"My mom's favorite Easter joke: Why does the Easter bunny hide Easter eggs? Because he doesn't want anyone to know he's fucking a chicken."

"The only time a Girl asked me for a coffee was when she mistook me for a Waiter."

"""How about we go with a gerund, but, like, maybe just half a gerund."" - How ING Bank got its name"

"No one wants to be the sofa king But they all think they're sofa king funny."