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Joke of the Day

"TIFU by eating my roommates lunch Oops, wrong sub"

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Trailer Park Barbie ...for the parent who wants to show their child what grown-up life is really going to be like"

"What do you get when you cross a bridge with a car? You get to the other side."

"Everybody thought potassium was an asshole AND a narcissist. It was probably because all he ever said to anyone was ""K""."

"I told my dad about the school shooting today I don't know why he got so worked up over picture day."

"What's red and fucks old ladies? Me, in my lucky red jacket."

"Question: What river separates China and India? Answer: the Fraser River (which separates Richmond and Surrey)"

"Waiter Waiter there's a fly in my ice-cream ! Gee I did not know that they had started winter sports so early in the year !"

"Cops don't like it when you ask them ""Need some help?"" especially when you're wearing a Batman costume."

"Why do people leave mattresses on the side of the road? Do they really think someone will take it? Do you think I should wash it first?"