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Joke of the Day

"Cops don't like it when you ask them ""Need some help?"" especially when you're wearing a Batman costume."

"Saw someone simultaneously walking while writing on a pad of paper. I yelled at them to text and drive like a normal person."

"I'd like to plant a grove of trees to remember loved ones who've passed on. But everyone gets weird whenever I talk about my mourning wood."

"When I die I'm going to donate my body to science. That's the only way I'll ever get into medical school."

"What did Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common? They both had curds in their whey."

"I smoked before going to the dentist & didn't know they would let me have laughing gas &watch Netflix Im cross faded af having the best time"

"I bet cats are pissed they can't sit on televisions anymore."

"I asked my friend with an extra chromosome if he wanted to hang out... He said he was down"

"I see said the blind man... ...as he picked up his hammer and saw."

"What did the lieutenant vulture say to the enlisted vultures who stopped eating a dead cow to salute? Carrion."