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Joke of the Day
"What military branch has the largest biceps? The Army."
Next Joke
"If at first you don't succeed... ...keep on sucking until you suck seed."
"do these four empty jars of nutella make me look fat?"
"What do you call Kim Jong-un reading a Stephen King novel? Fearless Reader"
"Neil Armstrong v. Michael Jackson What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong ACTUALLY walked on the moon and Michael Jackson raped children."
"I quit my job and handed in my badge and gun to my boss, he said, why do you have a gun? You work at McDonald's."
"If my house was on fire and I could only save one thing I would save my Bible So I could burn it myself"
"There are two types of people in this world. Those who finish what they start"
"What do you call a bunch of unicorns? A unicornucopia."
"Daughter (5): ""Daddy your tummy is big and bouncy just like our trampoline"" Me: ""Well you're short and can't spell chrysanthemum"""