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Joke of the Day

"Listen, kid. When you've spent 4 days eating cat food in a Vietnamese spin-fuck chair for phonics, we'll talk about hooked."

"Made this up two days ago: What did the French guy say when a bird pooped on him? I have Grey Poupon me"

"""You have the right to remain silent so as not to incriminate yourself"" ~ 5th Amendment, understood by nobody onTwitter."

"What does a french sheep say? Ca ba?"

"hear about the gay indian? he's a brave sucker...."

"What's the difference between apple juice and apple cider? Your sister doesn't care if you cum in juice but she won't let you cum in cider."

"Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven was a six offender."

"Don't have shower sex It's a slippery slope that leads to bath things"

"Why is it the only thing a woman wants out of a man these days is security? Well it's the first thing they say when I approach them."

"I met Josh Pec the other day... I met Josh Pec the other day, he's such a boob."