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Joke of the Day

"so a man is playing a violin in the middle of the jungle And a lion comes up and eats him. A tiger comes up and says ""hey man why did you do that? It sounded beautiful"" and the lion replied WHAT?"

"Can't find your children? Try turning off the wifi. They appear suddenly."

"Me: I'm bored Dad: hi bored I'm dad Me: I'm hungry Dad: hi hungry I'm dad Me: I'm here's 20 dollars Dad: hi here's 20 dollars Me: thanks dad"

"CIA finally succeeded in killing Fidel Castro Using the innovative 'Old age' technique"

"maybe if we told raccoons that the black around their eyes meant they were superheroes instead of burglars theyd stop stealing our trash"

"If you're scared of butter... use cream."

"What's the shortest book ever written? French War Heroes."

"Man walks into a bar... ...with a piece of tarmac under his arm, says to the barman 'give us a pint and one for the road...'"

"Eastman School of Music Fart Scale circa 1963 (no kidding - I did not make this up) In order of increasing pitch: Fahhrt Fuzz Fitty-Fuzz Poot Tarass Rattler"

"What's in the middle of girls' legs? Their knee."