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Joke of the Day

"What's the shortest book ever written? French War Heroes."

"""What does your mother do for a living?"" ""She sells shesells...I mean...Sea sells sea shells...dammit! She's...a beachside entrepreneur."""

"Bowtie pasta is the most handsome of all the pastas."

"Did you hear Poland bought 5,000 septic tanks? As soon as they figure out how to drive them, they'll invade Germany."

"My moods don't just swing - they bounce, pivot, recoil, rebound, oscillate, fluctuate and occasionally pirouette."

"Why do jews get so little annuity? Because they only worked from 38 to 45"

"I hit the snooze button so many times this morning I think we might be engaged now"

"All dick jokes are essentially the same they just vary in length."

"I think it's pretty cool Chinese people made a language made entirely out of tattoos."

"When/If Scotland becomes independent, what will the national currency be called? Doesn't matter, you won't be able to pry it out of the cheap bastards' hands anyway."