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Joke of the Day

"Dad, I can't drink from this mug... - ...it has no opening! - You are right,son. And besides this, it has no bottom!"

"This morning I mixed redbull with coffee to help me wake up. I got about halfway to work before I realized I forgot my car."

"What's red and smells like green paint? Red Paint"

"Rules are like a penis You can bend it as much as you want, but if you break it, you're fucked."

"Butter must be southern Because it's usually inbred"

"Me: When does karaoke start? Him: Never. Me: But I put my ""I ? Karaoke"" t-shirt on. Him: We noticed. Me: This is the worst funeral ever."

"I killed a duck that had been bothering me recently. The judge charged me with murder most fowl."

"What do pigs drive? Pig-up trucks!"

"What's a pirate's most favorite letter? [A letter of marque](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Letter_of_marque)."

"[after putting a fake mustache on an elephant] FRIEND: You seen my elephant? ME: no FRIEND: [eyeing elephant] Maybe this fine gentleman has"