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Joke of the Day

"[after putting a fake mustache on an elephant] FRIEND: You seen my elephant? ME: no FRIEND: [eyeing elephant] Maybe this fine gentleman has"

"My friends Dad call his son ""The Exorcist"" Ever time he comes home, all the spirits are gone [Picture of the ""The Exorcist"" at work](http://i.imgur.com/hAK6zNg.jpg)"

"What did the letter O say to the letter Q? ""For God's sake man, put some pants on!"""

"What's the difference between Sarah Palin's mouth and her vagina? Only one retarded thing came out of her vagina."

"What do Hillbillies do for Halloween? Pump kin"

"Atoms are huge liars They make up everything."

"What do toilet paper and the Starship Enterprise have in common? They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons."

"What kind of yogurt does a skeleton eat? Actibia."

"I saw my friend's girl sleeping with another man in the army but didn't tell him... It was a private affair."

"Me: Hi Kid: M: Still? It's been a week K: YOUR FIRST INSTINCT DURING A CAR ACCIDENT WAS TO PROTECT YOUR PHONE! M: You didn't die. Calm down."