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Joke of the Day

"What kind of bee can make milk? Boobies"

"Welcome to hipster fights. You can ironically hang your scarves over there. There's PBR and tacos in the food truck. Don't enjoy yourself."

"Harry Potter is actually an allegory about the emptiness of millennial hook up culture"

"[texting] ex: your friends were looking at me really strange at the game. me: yeah well I told them you died in a hot air balloon accident."

"Why can't meteorologists forecast the weather? -They are too busy studying comets and meteors"

"I've been diagnosed with kleptomania... when it gets really bad, I have to take something."

"Why do Americans suck at DOTA2 ? because they are bad at defending towers "

"Do zombies rule? Of corpse they do!"

"How do you catch an Elephant? Dig a hole, fill it with ashes, and line the outside with peas. So when the Elephant comes to take a pea, you can kick him in the ash hole."

"Whats black and sits at the top of the stairs? Steven Hawking after a house fire."