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Joke of the Day

"Safety Tip: lock your doors and windows before bed. Btw, I love what you've done with the place."

"My check engine light just turned on. I opened up the hood and the engine is still there. Thankfully everything is fine, but I was worried for a minute."

"How do fireflies start a race ? Ready steady glow !"

"What did the elephant say to the naked man?.. How can you breath through that thing."

"I don't get why men always want have sex with women. The women are always on the receiving end."

"What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers ? Fang letters !"

"What did Mustafa's dad say after he founded Turkey? attaturk."

"Who do grammar nazis hang out with now? The alt-write."

"Just found out you can eat a big turkey dinner whenever you want without having to be thankful. This changes everything."

"Thanks History Channel for letting me know that this scene showing General Custer at the Battle of Little Bighorn is a dramatization."