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Joke of the Day

"Why shouldn't you buy Ukrainian underpants? Cos Chernobyl fall out"

"What's worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust"

"If you rape a hooker/prostitute... is that actually shoplifting?"

"Why do Belgians eat their french fries out of a funnel? They never want to lose a brown one once they've been burned"

"Fell asleep last night with the T.V. off. Was that camping?"

"Why did the redneck take his cat to Walmart after running over it's tail with the lawn mower? Because they're the largest re-tail-er"

"Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us."

"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: No idea. I pretty much just zone out whenever I'm behind the wheel. Did anyone die?"

"I covered my boyfriend's laptop in melted cheese and now he's really mad at me. I mean, what did he expect when he asked for Mac and cheese?"

"Excuse me miss, you've got a little bit of face on your makeup there."