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Joke of the Day

"What did the father of a dog family tell his son after he made a racist joke In this family we don't see colors, son."

"What did the cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Wipe."

"I once went to a party with 10% battery life on my phone so you can shut the hell up about your ""scary"" battle at Normandy, grandpa."

"Who knows about math and science and is always close by? An engi-near!"

"If you post a pic of the temperature in your car on Facebook the University of Phoenix will email you a Meteorology degree."

"*Picking up my kid from school in 20 years* Me: Yo shawty leggo. Kid: Please no. Me: Stop hating YOLO. Kid: You're embarrassing. Me: Swag."

"Next time someone wants you to hold a baby, say ""I'm so bad with live babies!"""

"FBI responds to increased number of botched investigations resulting in civilian casualties By adding a new definition for ""botched"" to urban dictionary; successful"

"To find out your cat name, pick any name at random and refuse to answer to it."

"So an elephant and a naked man are talking, you know how that goes... and the elephant says to the naked man. ""Its cute but can you really breathe through it?"""