171934

Joke of the Day

"So an elephant and a naked man are talking, you know how that goes... and the elephant says to the naked man. ""Its cute but can you really breathe through it?"""

"[black jack] DEALER: 14 ME: hit me D: 16 M: hit me D: 23 M: hit me D: M: D: M: make it look good so my wife believes I was mugged"

"What happens when you stick your hand into a jar of jelly beans? The black ones steal your watch and the yellow ones paint your nails."

"Kanye West wants to be president... But no one man should have all that power."

"Three Roads To Ruin There are three roads to Ruin - Women, Gambling and Consultants. Women are the nicest, Gambling is the quickest but Consultants are the surest!"

"Tell a sad story in 4 words Lifetime Cleveland Browns fan"

"What did the Estonian student say in language class? I'll never Finnish. *dodges tomato*"

"Why did Fred put band aids in the refrigerator? He wanted cold cuts."

"AMERICA: Where someone will eventually figure out how to fry Vodka"

"Who invented the round table? Sir Cumference"