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Joke of the Day

"Happy Birthday question from grandpa Hey nephew are you trying to overtake me?"

"QUICK! HOW MANY BABY CARROTS CAN A GUY SHOVE UP HIS BUTT BEFORE HE... 12."

"what's the worst part for a zombie about eating a vegetable? the wheelchair."

"If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims."

"What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine's Day? ""I'm stuck on you!"""

"When anyone ask me to babysit, I ask if their kid is a ""mean drunk"" or a ""happy drunk."" Gets me out of it every time."

"Who did the sea captain lose his virginity to? His first mate"

"What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist? You can negotiate with a terrorist"

"Superman is depressed because he has to change in dirty gas station bathrooms since the telephone booth is now extinct. Poor Superman."

"My mother said today, ""I'm always alright as long as I'm taking that D."" She was referring to vitamin D."