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Joke of the Day
"What is the worst part about being told you have Alzheimer's? It never happens just once."
Next Joke
"if your best friend Jack was stuck on of a horse, would you help your friend Jack off a horse?"
"I only make good posts when I'm drunk... Today I celebrate 5 years sober"
"The first rule is that any numbered list of rules will lead to a Fight Club reference. The second rule is that any numbered list of rules will lead to a Fight Club reference."
"Wife wants to hang pictures of our kids in the bathroom. Like they don't already spend enough time in there with us."
"Why was the prostitute so good at her job? It was in her whoremoans."
"Patients get nervous when I walk into surgery wearing my lucky cape but I didn't go to medical school so I need all the luck I can get."
"Have you ever wanted to make a difference? WELL THEN GO TO A FUCKING MATH CLASS YOU FUCK"
"Facebook: My little man is the best thing that's ever happened to me! Twitter: Free baby. DM for details."
"And the winner of the 2016 presidential election is Hillary! - Steve Harvey"