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Joke of the Day

"She asked if I thought she was a 10... ...I told her she's more like a 14, cause she's the most basic bitch I've ever met."

"[first date] Her: I love your scent, what is it? Me: desperation."

"I saw a guy holding a TV I was walking down the street, when I saw a black guy holding a TV. I thought ""holy shit, is that mine?"" I went home to check. But nah, mine was at home polishing my shoes."

"Why are black crimes hard to solve? Because they're all criminals and they look the same."

"Me: you like that? *takes out trash* Wife: ooooh Me *starts vacuuming the living room* Wife: oh my god, don't stop"

"Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? He's alright now."

"What room is missing from almost every house? a Mushroom"

"Let's make a story together. Comment two words and keep the story going from the previous comments. Anything is allowed if it makes sense.... I'll start. One day..."

"What does priest stand for Paedophile representative in every small town"

"It's important to know your neighbors by name. For instance, ""Mr. Mean Old Man"" and his wife, ""Screamy""."