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Joke of the Day

"Hi, I'm Megan. You may know me from such public encounters with kids as ""No, YOUR face is stupid"" and ""I didn't trip you, you fell""."

"On a flight I asked the guy behind me if he minded me reclining my seat. He said he did. It really put my back up."

"A doctor tells a man that he has to stop masturbating. The man is surprised and says, ""Why?"" And the doctor says,""Because I'm trying to examine you!"""

"What do you call a fight between a Mexican and Jared Fogle? Alien vs Predator."

"Two antennae got married... The ceremony was alright, but the reception was GREAT!"

"GTA V for the PC is taking so long to release... all of the radio stations will play classic hits."

"What is the difference between a peeping tom and a pick pocket? A pickpocket snatches watches"

"""Oh my god!"" responded the mother as she heard the news. ""Will my son be an alkyne forever?"" ""It's even worse,"" the doctor said, ""he's terminal."""

"Where does a homosexual Southerner live? In dick-sea land"

"[Brings date home] O geez did I leave all my rare, holographic Pokemon cards out on my bed again? Guess we'll just have to lay here & battle"