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Joke of the Day

"Fun prank... Make them study for 16 years and then don't give them jobs"

"Why can't Stevie Wonder read? (offensive) Because he's black."

"This cracked me up at work tonight! Did you hear about the famous actress that slit her throat tonight? What's her name? Reese... Reese Witherspoon? No with a knife"

"Becoming a vegetarian is a huge missed steak"

"A spider crawled on my son's hand today. I did what any father would do. I mean, Luke Skywalker seems like a productive member of society."

"Caffeine is like my psycho girlfriend. As long as we're together everything is great, but if I ignore it for one day, it tries to kill me."

"So I bought this cheap brand of toilet paper... They called it velvet soft. It should have been called James Bond 007. Because every time after I use it, I lift my hand up and I've got a GoldFinger."

"redneck incest paradox Apparently, there are guys down in Alabama, there, who are their own fathers!!! (I can say this, safely, because I live in TN. We don't do anything fucked around here..."

"Why is it called Black Friday? Because everything is a steal."

"""I'm soooo tired!"" [lays down in bed] ""I'm soooo comfortable!"" Bladder: Sup bro"