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Joke of the Day

"My physics professor gave us a really difficult exam question about a ball with a changing rate of acceleration. It was a jerk move."

"[I am wearing a wedding gown at work] BOSS: Do you have a minute to chat in my office? ME: [lifting veil] I do"

"A blonde goes to a target And misses."

"What did the vampire do to stop his son biting his nails ? He cut all his fingers off !"

"You know who really likes debates? De fish"

"What do you do if a buff black man slaps your girlfriends ass? Tell his owner"

"What does a mobster buried in cement eventually become? A hardened criminal."

"Ways to get me naked: 1. Be hot 2. Be funny 3. Be alcohol 4. Pretend to be my gynecologist"

"A terrorist walks into a Christmas party Just kidding. He drove."

"Do you know how NASCAR got its name? It's from North Carolina. There were a bunch of dudes standing around a car, and one of them said, ""That's a nas' car."""