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Joke of the Day

"My physics professor gave us a really difficult exam question about a ball with a changing rate of acceleration. It was a jerk move."

"Saw a pretty girl, asked her, ""whats your sign?"" She said stop."

"There is a new app. that tells you how smarter your dog is. Here's how it works :- If you bought the app. your dog is smarter than you."

"[Cannibal Restaurant] Waiter: Need anything else? Cannibal: No, I'm stuffed. I can't even finish this. Could I get a body bag?"

"Have you heard about that new program that only the living can watch? You'd have to be dead to miss it!"

"What has four legs and is made out of wood? A horse."

"Ever heard of rodeo sex? NSFW That's where you mount her from behind, then lean forward and whisper ""this is how your sister liked it."" and see if you can stay on for ten seconds! :)"

"I owe so much to X-men, the movie that taught me it was ok to be a terrifying mutant"

"Yes, my teeth are dazzling, but, please, treat me no differently than you would the next demigod."

"What happens when a man of jewish descent runs into a wall with an erection? He breaks his nose."