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Joke of the Day

"Islam gives Women EQUAL Rights!"

"Math is like my parenting. I do it when I have to, but I'm not great at it."

"Was your teacher drunk when he made your multiple choice test? 1) Yes ) No %) I love you guys M) 8 ) Potato"

"I was desperate for a job, so my friend offered me one as a test subject in a wind tunnel But i wasnt a fan"

"My new baby is the image of his father. Never mind. just so long as he's healthy."

"Women are always complaining about wanting a boyfriend... And when I offer they act all repulsed and tell me to get out of their house before they call the cops for breaking in, women am I right?"

"What's it called when you're anxious enough to be a Helicopter Mom, but really, really lazy? A Blimp Mom? Yeah, I'm that."

"How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face."

"If you're going to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at 10, don't be open."

"my girlfriend went to slip into something more comfortable six months ago which makes me wonder how comfortable you can possibly be"