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Joke of the Day

"my girlfriend went to slip into something more comfortable six months ago which makes me wonder how comfortable you can possibly be"

"A reality star, a rapist and a child molester walk into a bar. And Josh Duggar orders a drink."

"You are proof that evolution CAN go in reverse."

"Every onion looks like it was in an abusive relationship."

"Just showed my 4 yo niece that I can still do a cartwheel and now she is showing me where the ice packs are."

"*getting murdered* First time? *sighs* You'll want to lacerate my abdominal aorta. *sighs, puts hand on the bottom of my ribcage* It's here."

"At my job I am forced to deal with more cunts than a gynecologist."

"What do the World Trade Center and genders have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's too offensive to talk about."

"What has teeth but no mouth? A comb or a saw."

"If you're buying your pregnancy test at the dollar store it's probably because he bought is his condoms there too."