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Joke of the Day

"I was desperate for a job, so my friend offered me one as a test subject in a wind tunnel But i wasnt a fan"

"""When it rains, it pours."" -Shitty weatherman"

"What would George Washington do if he were alive today? Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin."

"Why are Italians so good at football? Because it involves changing sides halfway through."

"A cop was outside my house talking to some people and my first thought was ""yesss"" because I'm nosey."

"You know what's the difference between a housewife and a politician? The housewife thinks about doing her taxes while having sex. The politician thinks about having sex while spending your taxes."

"Great news insomniacs! Only 12 sleeps til Christmas."

"Why don't Canadians wear tank tops? They don't have the right to bare arms"

"Hate it when I'm at a hotel & the maid leaves her cart unattended & the only thing I can grab before getting caught is 3 dozen shower caps."

"Q: Does a roller coaster like its work? A: It has its ups and downs."