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Joke of the Day

"My husband doesn't find it nearly as amusing as I do, when I read all your tweets out loud to him. For 2 hours. Douche."

"How does every black joke start? By looking over your shoulder!"

"Why is it called stand-up comedy? Because people in wheelchairs shouldn't be laughed at."

"How often do I tell jokes about the elements ...periodically"

"What is it called when you butt dial from your front pocket? A cockadial"

"Im having a problem in Call Of Duty, I go to the menu and... alright by now the girls have stopped reading this, anyone know any good porn sites?"

"What's Rihanna's favorite love song? ""I can't feel my face when i'm with you"""

"I look forward to hearing Michelle Obama's speech again. At the 2020 RNC."

"College doesn't prepare you for holding in farts in the workplace."

"Did you hear about the Christmas Party in San Bernadino? It was wild. A Muslim couple showed up and put 14 presents six feet under the Christmas Tree."