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Joke of the Day

"Don't confuse a Morning Person with a Middle Aged Bladder Person."

"If you can't handle me at my drunkest, you don't deserve me when I'm sober."

"Met a microbiologist this morning He was bigger than I expected."

"I'm opening a restaurant called ""It doesn't matter, whatever you want"" since every girl alive wants guys to take them there."

"A man was recently arrested For having sex with a van. You can say he's... vansexual."

"Racist joke NSFW: What do you say to a black man in a suit? ""Will the defendant please rise"""

"I introduced reddit to my girlfriend yesterday Me: So, do you like it? Her: yeah, it was entertaining. Just one question, though Me: Sure, go on Her: Yeah, who is OP. And why is his mom such a whore?!"

"I don't trust anyone who doesn't count their donuts before leaving a drive-thru."

"Soup baby What do you call a dead Ukrainian baby. Aborschtion"

"If Bernie Sanders gets elected, they should rename the White House the ""Sand Castle""."