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Joke of the Day

"You open a massage studio called Human Traffic Fuck Palace and some people will just assume the worst."

"Why do mermaids wear seashells? because D shells dont fit"

"Stephen Hawking has finally released his new book about space. It's about time, too."

"They should rename ""eye drops"" to ""cheek drops"" so I don't feel bad every time I miss."

"A polish guy goes to the ophthalmologist Doctor: Can you read this? C Z J W I N O S T A W C Z Polish: Read? I know that guy!"

"What did the midget say in the crowded elevator? You guys are a bunch of assholes."

"While in my car I drove beneath an overpass that was getting some work done on it I was under construction."

"Jehovah's witnesses don't celebrate Halloween. I guess they don't appreciate random people coming up to their doors."

"How did Mark Zuckerberg meet Miley Cyrus? Social net twerking"

"I'm so old, I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign. And before that, we used to play Tic-Tac-Toe on that shit."