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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a woman who is paralysed from the waist down? Married."

"My friends told me we were going for a ride and I called ""Shotgun""... ... they did'nt tell me we we're actually going for a drive-by. FML :("

"I hate these services like Tinder and Grindr. I remember back when if you wanted to have sex, someone else had to make a huge mistake."

"I feel like we're so close to finding the perfect zinger that will make the whole country immediately unite."

"Knock Knock! Who's there? Dwayne. Dwayne who? Dwayne the pool please, I'm dwaoning!"

"I always cried when my Dad chopped onions. Onions was a good dog."

"I have a condition preventing my going on a successful diet. There's a medical term for it, but in plain language, it's hunger."

"Why do you ask me to press 1 for english when you know damn well you're going to transfer me to someone who doesn't speak english?"

"I met a new girl in work today, and she was a vegan I've never seen herbivore"

"Haiku to the cheating girlfriend A haiku is five, then seven then five again, but who cares you whore"