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Joke of the Day

"...and so they left. So they left. The bartender said, ""Hey, we don't serve your kind here!"" Two time travelers walk into a bar."

"*pulls handle on slot machine *prune *prune *prune *diarrhea comes out"

"What do you call a guy with diarrhea who just had his father committed to the insane asylum? A crap happy chappy with a slap happy pappy."

"How do you make a kilogram of fat appealing? Put a nipple on it"

"I feel a bit overdressed here at WalMart because my pajamas match."

"...and tonight's final jeopardy category is Greek Mythology *giant centaur snorts and smiles at the other two contestants*"

"U2's Ireland shows have sold out. Expect a ticket through your letterbox any day now courtesy of Bono."

"Scientists discovered that gayness goes back to the Jurrassic Period, there were even gay dinosaurs.... the gay male dinosaur was the Humpasauras and the gay female dinosaur was the Lickalottapus"

"COP: Anything you say can and will be used against you-- ME: Handcuff keys COP (to his partner): Damn, this guy's good"

"What do you call a black guy who flies a plane? A PILOT, YOU RACIST!"