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Joke of the Day

"Breaking news: The world is running out of plastic. Citizens everywhere say its because of Nicki Minaj's implants."

"What should a football team do if the pitch is flooded? Bring on their subs!"

"What's the worst thing you can hear while giving Willie Nelson a blowjob? I'm not Willie Nelson..."

"INVENTOR OF SOUP: [holding water in one hand and sandwich in the other] wat if... wat if water was mor like sandwich"

"I decided to read War and Peace whilst walking over the Golden-Gate, I'd heard the abridged version was easier to finish."

"It has come to my attention that some of you are eating the bottom half of cupcakes. That is the peel, people. Know your fruit."

"There's no such thing as premature ejaculation, the truth is that women arrive late everywhere!"

"Whats a Mexican's Favorite Sport? Cross Country"

"It's like the only thing my kids learned from Snow White is that fruit is horribly poisonous."

"what do you call a 9 year old african boy crying on his knees Midlife crisis"